The Birth

This trip was birthed from a memorial service video my family watched of my aunt who had passed away a few weeks back. As I sat and watched this video, this woman these people were talking about was mostly a stranger to me. I was never especially close to her, simply because we didn't see much of each other. I thought I knew her in a general sense, like you know any distant relative. But the woman these people knew was awesome! She was someone I wished I knew better, knew more, and that had known me.

Resentment washed over me for being denied a deeper relationship with her. Then regret that I never made the relationship happen. I am a big boy after all! Then shame for not realizing sooner that at any time I could have made a call, said hi, and been welcomed like an old friend. And sadness at the fact that that opportunity has past.

Quickly my mind raced around all the opportunities that still exist - who don't I know very well that if I did we both might be the better for it? Instantly he snapped to the front of my mind. Pa! My foster father. He's the best man I have ever had the honor of meeting and of spending time with. He has done more for me spiritually and emotionally that i can ever express.

And he's old. He's 96 i think. Mind still there, still with the heart of a lion and of a lamb. I have been "meaning" to visit him in Florida for the last 15 years.... Life has a way of running us, and it sure has ran me! So I think "This is the summer. That door is also closing! I won't let his life pass without spending some time with him, man to man. He has been in my life for 40 years! A lifetime of opportunity to take in the wisdom and experience of a man who leads and loves deeper that I have ever seen. And I have never take the time to get intimate with him. Well, it's time I drink from that cup finally.

But, there a few problems here! Last June I got separated from my wife of 9 years. In April the divorce was final. I made it out of the marriage with a duffel bag of clothes, a few books, and the clothes on my back. No lie!

At that same time last summer, I was needed back home, in Michigan, by my family, and all of a sudden I sure needed them! The turn of events that happened is what I call tragically good timing. So I went. To Michigan. It's major industry, the auto industry, was is such a mess no one knew from minute to minute what to expect. Michigan's economy was in a full on nose dive, and it isnt much better even today. The highest unemployment, for the longest period of time, in the entire country. There's a leadership position to be proud of!

So, fast forward to last Sunday again.

I must get to Florida this summer. Must. It is no option. It is a MUST!

But...

No money.

No car.

No job.

30 lbs overweight

Not is top shape at all.

Florida is 1200 miles away!

Well, obstacles -be-damned, I'm going!

On the up side, there isn't a single thing that keeps me here at this point in my life. This summer. Right now. Next summer, Pa may be dead. I will have job, or business, that can not go 2 months without me. I expect to have more expenses that cant be left alone for that long. I expect to have repaired and developed a few relationships that I would not want to make suffer by such a long absence. No, this trip cant wait. This is the time. It is a narrow window in my life that is open right now that allows me to do this thing. And so I am.

Now, how do I do this? How do I make this happen?

I ride. My bicycle. I put together a bedroll, and a tent and ride down to Florida. Then I think "Whoa! Thats a loooooong ride!" And it is. By the time I get done with stops along the way, it's 2800 miles round trip! I estimate I can ride 90 miles at a leasure pace and knock it down in 12 hours a day. A few hours to meet locals wherever I am that day, find a place to literally pitch a tent for the night, sleep for 9 or 10 hours, and do it all over again. Now I like bike riding, and have gone on a few 70 mile plus rides. I know it aint easy, but it has to be doable. Remember, this is a must, not a want. But even at that pace, it will take 50 days to complete the trip, counting rest days, repairs along the way, and the days spent there with Pa. 50 days on the road. Alone. On a bicycle.

The the philosopher in me started thinking. I have felt for years that I have let things influence me that have been harmful either physically, spiritually, or emotionally. Sometimes all 3! And these influences are SO hard to control, to shield against, to filter out, when life is running me. The most troubling things that have influenced me in negative ways are the ones I don't consciously know about, and don't recognize. These things have changed me, distracted me from the man I intended to be when I was 18. They have loaded me down, held me back, and thwarted my efforts for too long.

This trip to Florida, to see the most awesome man I have met, has grown into a journey of sorts. It will be a time to clear my mind. To begin to align my thoughts values ethics and morals. To evaluate the influences I have let reign over far too many years, to learn some lessons I have knowingly put off due to fear, and refresh my mind and body. God will have to handle the spirit because its WAY to big of a mess for me right now!

And of course, riding that long, that often, I have no doubt that I will NOT be overweight when I return! I expect to be back down to the appearance, physique (or better), and stamina of my early 20's.

I don't know how profound, or profoundly boring, it may be. I know that even if it isn't a time of massive shifting in my world, I will still get to see Pa, and that, my friends, is worth the trip alone. I wish you could meet him, so you can see that I am not quite as crazy as I seem :)